"Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street!"1 Mommy Mommy Jokes
"Shut up and step on the gas!"
A policeman pulls a driver over for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer.16 Police Jokes
"I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."
"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station."
"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."
"Alright, we could get a blood sample."
"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."
"Fine then, just walk this white line."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Because I'm drunk."
Why shouldn't women be able to drive?35 Woman Jokes
There are no roads from the bedroom to the kitchen!
What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?20 Blonde Jokes
Some traffic signs say stop.
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.18 Blonde JokesNext page JokesDriving Sayings
The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde: “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”