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Top 20 Jokes about Driving



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How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist?

He has a red sticker on his bumper, saying: "If this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast."

9     Physicist Jokes


A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

20     Blonde Jokes


What is the best way to get to Paradise?

Turn right and go straight.

14     Paradise Jokes


A girl is driving along the expressway listening to the radio when she hears a song she really, really likes. When the song is over the announcer says the title of the record was, "Hot Lips and Tender Kisses."

When she gets home she's very excited about the new song and decides to call her local music store to see if they have the record. Hurriedly, and excitedly, she dials the store's number. But in her excitement, she unknowingly misdialed and got an auto repair shop instead.

"Hello," the mechanic answers.

"Oh, yes! Do you have Hot Lips and Tender Kisses?" the girl asks.

The mechanic was puzzled, but says, "Well, no, but I've got hot pants and seven inches."

"Oh, is that a record?" she says.

"No," he says, "but it's better than average."

24     Mechanic Jokes


You know that somebody actually complimented me on my driving today, was too uber stoked! They even left a little note on my windscreen. It said, "Parking Fine." Was nice of them hey?

2     Complimenting Jokes






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