23 jokes about drivers
3 → Joke
How do you know that the driver driving
toward you is a physicist
He has a red sticker
on his bumper
, saying: "If this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast."
18 → Joke
pulls over a pickup truck
on I-75. He says to the driver, "Got any ID
The driver says, "Bout what?"
40 → Joke
gets on a bus
with her baby
. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest
baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey
10 → Joke
A policeman pulls a driver over for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer.
"I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."
"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station."
"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."
"Alright, we could get a blood sample."
"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."
"Fine then, just walk this white line."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Because I'm drunk
47 → Joke
A passenger taps a taxi
drivers on his shoulder. The driver shits himself with shock, swerves nearly hitting a bus and stops inches from a shop window.
"Fuck-me, your jumpy aren't yer, I only tapped your shoulder" says the passenger.
"Sorry," says the cabby, "It's my first day. I've been driving a Hearse
for 20 years."