44 jokes about drives
4 accident jokes
A woman and a man driver are involved in a horrific collision, but amazingly both escape completely unhurt – though their cars are written off.
As they crawl out of the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and strikingly beautiful. Then the woman turns to the man and gushes breathily:
"That’s incredible both our cars are demolished but we’re fine. It must be a sign from God that we are meant to be together!"
Sensing a promise, the man stammers back, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"
The woman goes on, "And look, though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine
survived intact, too! It must be another sign. Let’s drink to our love!"
"Well, OK!" says the man, going with the moment. She offers him the bottle, so he downs half of it and hands it back.
"Your turn," says the man.
"No, thanks," says the woman, "I think I’ll just wait for the police
15 driving jokes
I was recently riding with a friend
We were coming to a red light, and he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" He tells me this is how his brother
We come to another red light, and again, he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" Again, he tells me this is how his brother drives.
We come to a green light, and he slams on the brakes. My heart nearly goes into my throat. I shouted at him, "Why do you do that?!"
He replied, "You never know, my brother could be coming the other way."
15 golf jokes9 physicist jokes
After a particularly poor game of golf
, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman
stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"
"Yes," the golfer
"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?" the cop
"Yes, I did. How did you know?" the golfer asked.
"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"
The golfer thought it over carefully and responded, "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
9 computer jokesNext page Jokes
Who is General
Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?
He was trying to get in touch with Private Data but if it involves a Major Disaster I understand that the fault lies with General Protection.
Furthermore, if you cannot reboot it may be because of a corrupt Colonel.