Drinking - 27 jokes
20 wife jokes
A man is sitting at the bar
in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey
. One of his friends
happens to come into the bar and sees him.
"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink
before. What's going on?"
Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife
just ran off with my best friend."
He then throws back another shot of whisky
in one gulp.
"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"
The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs,
"Not anymore! ... He is!"
18 baby jokes
Wade Boggs, Steve Garvey and Pete Rose are in a bar
A pretty woman
walks by and Boggs says, "I'm going to ask her out."
Garvey replied, "You can't do that, she's carrying my baby
To which Rose added, "You wanna bet
16 boss jokes
at the pub
went up to the bartender
and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitress
"Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender.
The boss replied, "Good, then you fire
30 beer jokesProposal
is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie
. It says: "I will give you three wishes
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says: "I want a beer
that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says: "I want two more of these."
So Dan and Mike are drinking beer in a bar.3 Short jokesNext page Jokesdrinking sayings
"Hey Dan, did you know the universe is expanding and there's nothing we can do about it?"
"Of course there's something we can do about it, Mike."
"Yeah? What's that?"
"Tell your mom to stop eating."