Drinking - 28 jokes
There's a big conference of
beer producers. At the end of the day, the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.
The president of '
Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on. Then the waitress asks Arthur
Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a
Coke!
"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask.
"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, then neither will I."
17
beer jokesWade Boggs, Steve Garvey and Pete Rose are in a
bar.
A pretty
woman walks by and Boggs says, "I'm going to ask her out."
Garvey replied, "You can't do that, she's carrying my
baby."
To which Rose added, "You wanna
bet?"
18
baby jokesA man is sitting at the
bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of
whiskey. One of his
friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.
"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a
drink before. What's going on?"
Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My
wife just ran off with my best friend."
He then throws back another shot of
whisky in one gulp.
"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"
The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs,
"Not anymore! ... He is!"
18
wife jokesThe
boss at the
pub went up to the
bartender and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the
waitress?!"
"Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender.
The boss replied, "Good, then you
fire her!"
15
boss jokesAn
Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a
genie. It says: "I will give you three
wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says: "I want a
beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says: "I want two more of these."
27
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