Drinking - 27 jokes
31 → Joke
One night a man
and a woman
are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors
. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun." The woman doctor agrees to it.
So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex
for an hour or so.
Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon
, aren't you?" "Yeah, how did you know?" The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started." "Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. " You're an anesthesiologist
aren't you?" "Yeah", says the man , a bit surprised. "How did you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
20 → Joke
’s worst air disaster
occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane
crashed into a cemetery
search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies
so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into
Mother30 → Joke
: "What kind of person is your new boyfriend
? Is he respectable?"
"Of course he is, Mom. He's thrifty, doesn't drink or smoke, has a very nice wife and three well-behaved children
27 → Joke
that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest
. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis
"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol
, and contempt for your fellow man," the priest replied.
"Imagine that," the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis, Father," the drunk said, "but I just read in the paper that the Pope
14 → Joke
There's a big conference of beer
producers. At the end of the day, the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.
The president of 'Budweiser
' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on. Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness
what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke
"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask.
"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, then neither will I."
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