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Dog jokes

56 jokes about dogs



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Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

9     → Joke


What not to say to the nice policeman:

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector was unplugged.

2     → Joke


A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette went into a farm to steal chickens. The police were nearby and they heard them and came in. The girls quickly jumped into three potato sacks so they wouldn't be seen.

One policeman kicked the sack with the redhead, and she said "meow" pretending to be a cat.

He kicked the second one with the brunette, and she said "ruff", pretending to be a dog.

When he kicked the third sack with the blonde, she said "potatoes".

28     → Joke


Proposal

A Saudi was being interviewed at the US Embassy to obtain visa.

Consul: "Your name please?"
Saudi: "Abdul-Aziz."
Consul: "Sex?"
Saudi: "Six time a week."
Consul: "I mean, male or female?"
Saudi: "Both male and female sometime even camels."
Consul: "Holy cow!"
Saudi: "Yes, cows & dogs too."
Consul: "Man, isn't that hostile?"
Saudi: "Horse style, dog style, any style!"
Consul: "Oh dear!"
Saudi: "Deer? No deer, they run too fast ...!"

9     → Joke


A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain that to you."

21     → Joke



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