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Dog jokes

56 jokes about dogs



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A blind man and his seeing eye dog walked into a store. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around.

Upset by this, the manager of the store demanded to know what he was doing.

The blind man calmly replied, "I'm just lookin' around."

26     blind jokes


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

38     husband jokes


How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

23     violinist jokes


A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."

Bartender: "Yeah! Sure ... go ahead."

Man: "What covers a house?"

Dog: "Roof!"

Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"

Dog: "Rough!"

Man: "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"

Dog: "Ruth!"

Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."

The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"

29     bar jokes


Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?

That's how dogs spend their lives.

11     room jokes






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