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Dog jokes

56 jokes about dogs



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dogdog,bassetdog,boxerdog,bulldog


Why were men given larger brains than dogs?

1) So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
2) So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.

12     → Joke


A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."

Bartender: "Yeah! Sure ... go ahead."

Man: "What covers a house?"

Dog: "Roof!"

Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"

Dog: "Rough!"

Man: "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"

Dog: "Ruth!"

Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."

The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"

29     → Joke


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

36     → Joke


A blind man and his seeing eye dog walked into a store. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around.

Upset by this, the manager of the store demanded to know what he was doing.

The blind man calmly replied, "I'm just lookin' around."

19     → Joke


Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?

That's how dogs spend their lives.

10     → Joke



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