A lady goes into the local sporting goods store to buy a fishing rod to give to her husband for his birthday.4 Farting Jokes
A salesman wearing dark glasses with a dog is behind the counter and asks, "Can I help you ma'am?"
"Well, I'd like to buy a fishing rod, can you tell me about this one?" she answers.
The salesman replies, "I'm sorry ma'am but I am blind and can not see the rod your referring too. However, if you'll drop it on the counter I'll tell you all about it as I can tell from the sound it makes."
The lady picks up the rod, and does what he says and drops it on the counter.
He belts "That's a Zebco 2500, fiberglass, 6.5', medium action - $15."
Lady - "Wow!" She finds another and does the same.
"Thats an Orion 35 C, graphite, 6', light action - best used with ultralight tackle - $20."
Very impressed the lady decides to buy the second one.
As the man is ringing up the sale, the lady makes a rather large noise as she passes gas but feels no need to apologize as the salesman is blind and has no idea who she is.
Salesman says, "That'll be $25."
"TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS!? YOU SAID $20?"
"That's right mam, $20 for the rod, $3 for the duck call, and $2 for the fish bait."
A Chinese Homosexual Jewish man walks to a bar. He says to bartender0 Short jokes
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Shit's be rough
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Me asian. I eat shit by the way, as I am a homosexual.
Bartender: Wow, cool!
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man leaves bar without paying because he's a stingy Jew.
He comes back the next day.
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: I control the world. By the way, any Cocker Spaniels for this Rothschild?
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Me eat dog and read torah.
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man leaves the bar without paying because he's a stingy Jew.
Corpse of Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man arrives next day.
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Can me have whisky, me son happens to be gay.
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man leaves the bar and gets in his car before driving off and crashing into a lightpole and dying. ~ Bill Gates Son
Three guys meet after work at a bar. They all get pretty hammered and eventually split up. The next morning they gather around the watercooler and tell of their exploits from the previous night. 0 Short jokes
Guy #1 "I was so drunk last night I couldn't even get up my front steps. My wife found me on the porch and gave me hell!
Guy #2 "That's nothing. I stumbled home, dropped my key, couldn't find it so I banged on my front door, turns out I went to the wrong house. The guy who answered the door was so mad he punched me and I fell onto his garden gnome butt first!
They all looked at the third guy who said nothing. "Wellllllll???" they asked.
Guy #3 said, "I went home and blew chunks".
They all laughed, "That's nothing!"
Guy #3 "No, no, you don't understand...Chunks is my dog." ~ Gnome De Plume