A man speaks frantically on phone, "My wife
, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband
After the doctor delivered Chuck Norris
he slapped Chuck Norris on the butt. While he realized that Chuck was already breathing he did it merely for posterity.
are the only other group of people who have made a worse mistake!
"Doctor," the embarrassed man
said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife
"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."
The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection
A doctor had just finished a marathon sex
session with one of his patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn't really ethical to screw one of his patients.
However, a little voice in his head said Lots of other doctors have sex with their patients, ... so it's not like you're the first ...
This made the doctor feel a little bit better until still another voice in his head said, but then again ... they probably weren't veterinarians
A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up and everything seems fine. The doctor asks him about his sex
"Well ..." the man drawled, "not bad at all to be honest. The wife ain't all that interested anymore, so I just cruise around. In the past week I was able to pick-up and bed at least three girls, none of whom were over thirty years old."
"My goodness Frank, and at your age too." the doctor said. "I hope you took at least some precautions."
"Yep. I may be old, but I ain't senile yet doc. I gave them all a phony name."