53 jokes about doctors
was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms
, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet
. I don't need to ask my patients
these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking. Why can't you?"
The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription
, and handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down."
A gorgeous young redhead
goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger
, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
A guy walks into the doctor's office. There is a banana
stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber
in the other ear, and a carrot
stuck in one nostril.
says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat
went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex
, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea.
The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"
She said that she did.
He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no.
The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified.
She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"
The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers