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57 jokes about doctors



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4 out of 5 doctors say that if they were stranded on a deserted island with no lawyers, they wouldn't need any aspirin.

17     lawyer jokes


A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up and everything seems fine. The doctor asks him about his sex life.

"Well ..." the man drawled, "not bad at all to be honest. The wife ain't all that interested anymore, so I just cruise around. In the past week I was able to pick-up and bed at least three girls, none of whom were over thirty years old."

"My goodness Frank, and at your age too." the doctor said. "I hope you took at least some precautions."

"Yep. I may be old, but I ain't senile yet doc. I gave them all a phony name."

34     sex jokes


Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."

Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

25     strawberry jokes


Dianne goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor, I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you."

The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready.

"Well, what is it?" he asks.

"It's a bit embarrassing," she replies. "These two green circles have appeared on the inside of my thighs."

The doctor examines her and finally admits he has no idea what the cause is. Then he suddenly asks, "Is your boyfriend a Harley rider?"

The woman blushes and says, "Well, actually he is."

"That's the problem," the doctor says. "Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."

35     sex jokes


A guy walks into the doctor's office. There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril.

The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."

17     banana jokes






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