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Doctor jokes

53 jokes about doctors


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4 out of 5 doctors say that if they were stranded on a deserted island with no lawyers, they wouldn't need any aspirin.

13    


blonde
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

45    


Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."

Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

18    


caveman,food
A guy walks into the doctor's office. There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril.

The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."

13    


Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me", she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see", nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter".

"No!" exclaimed the nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"

12    


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