Doctor: "I have some bad news
and some very bad news."Patient
: "Well, might as well give me the bad news first."
Doctor: "The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live."
Patient: "24 Hours! Thats terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?"
Doctor: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."
A man went to the doctor.
The doctor examined him and said: "I'm sorry to have to tell you this - but you only have three minutes left to live."
The man said: "Oh my god! Are you sure there is nothing you can do for me?"
The doctor thought for a moment then replied: "I could boil you an egg
An old lady
is being examined by a doctor who asks her: "Have you ever been bedridden
The old lady smiles and says: "I certainly have and I've been table ended and back skuttled a few times too!"
A guy walks into the doctor's office. There is a banana
stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber
in the other ear, and a carrot
stuck in one nostril.
says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat
Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse
took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist
in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me", she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating
him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."
"I see", nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter".
"No!" exclaimed the nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"