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How can you tell if your wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

69    

woman,roses

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

11    

man,proposing marriage

woman,watering
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

44    


How do you get your dishwasher to work?

Slap her!

36    

woman,roses

Why do men want their brides to wear white?

Because they want their dishwasher to match their fridge and stove!

14    

man,calling

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