Dish jokes

9 jokes about dishes


How can you tell if your wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

50     → Joke

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

11     → Joke

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

46     → Joke

How do you get your dishwasher to work?

Slap her!

34     → Joke

Why do men want their brides to wear white?

Because they want their dishwasher to match their fridge and stove!

21     → Joke

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