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Whats the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?

One got his head blown off in the back of a limosene, the other got assasinated.

42     president jokes


The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word "definitely" in a sentence.

Little Johnny replies: "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher says: "Of course not Johnny."

To which Johnny replies: "Then I have definitely shit my pants."

74     Little Johnny jokes


I want to suck you ... lick you ... wanna move my tongue all over you ... wanna feel you in my mouth ... yep, that's how you ... eat an ice cream!

50     sex jokes


The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon Little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.

"It's a period" reported Johnny.

"Well I can see that" she said. "but what is so exciting about a period."

"Damned if I know" said Johnny, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."

64     Little Johnny jokes


What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?

A man's undivided attention.

41     ball jokes






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