16 jokes about dirt
17 salesman jokes
A vacuum salesman
appeared at the door of an old lady
's cottage and, without allowing the woman
to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of dirt all over her clean carpet. He said, "If this new vacuum doesn't pick up every bit of dirt then I'll eat all the dirt."
The woman, who by this time was losing her patience, said, "Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid my electricity
bill before they cut it off. Now, what would you prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?"
13 frog jokes
A computer programmer
happens across a frog
in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess
and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex
for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on.
Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"
"I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex ... But a talking frog is pretty neat."
49 muffin jokes
A little girl
goes to the barbers
with her dad and stands next to the chair eating a muffin
while her dad gets a haircut
The barber smiles at her and says: "Your gonna get hair on your muffin!"
"I know" she says "im gonna get tits
too you dirty old bastard!"
46 dirty jokes
You wanna hear a dirty
A boy in a white shirt fell in the mud
You wanna hear a dirtier joke?
He got back up and fell back down.
You wanna hear a clean joke?
He took a bath
You wanna hear the dirtest joke so far?
Bubbles is the girl
38 church jokesNext page Jokes
, down on his luck
, went into a church
which catered to the "uppity". Spotting the man's dirty clothes a deacon
, worried about the churches image, went to the man and asked him if he needed help. The man said, "I was praying and the Lord
told me to come to this church."
The deacon suggested that the man go pray some more and possibly he might get a different answer. The next Sunday the man returned. The deacon asked, "Did you get a different answer?"
The man replied, "Yes I did. I told the Lord that they don't want me in that church and the Lord said, 'Don't worry about it son; I've been trying to get into that church for years and haven't made it yet."