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Direction jokes

10 jokes about directions


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The vector was walking down cartesian drive when he bumped into a confused Scalar.

The vector asked him what was wrong and he replied, "Help I have no direction."

1    

car

If you drop a blonde and a brunette from 100 ft, which hits the ground first?

The brunette, because the blonde has to ask directions on the way down.

9    

blonde:5

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

They won't stop to ask directions.

21    

eggs

dog,basset
One day, a blind man and his dog are walking down a street, they come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.

The blind man and his dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket, and offers it to the dog.

A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"

The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."

21    


man,toilet
A man is lost. He decides to stop and ask for directions at a farm.

Before he knocks on the door, he saw in the window an old, naked couple. The wife was pulling her breasts, and the husband was jerking off. Horrified, the man runs across the street to another house.

The homeowner tells the man, "They're deaf. She's saying 'Milk the cows,' and he's saying 'Go fuck yourself.'"

29    


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