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Dinner jokes

33 jokes about dinners



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Once upon a time, a beautiful princess happened upon a frog in a pond.

The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel lucky for doing so."

That night the princess had frog legs for dinner.

36     princess jokes


"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

33     marriage jokes


The tensions of life were threatening to get a strangle hold on Bill, and after he'd finished a good dinner, he relaxed mindlessly in a soft chair next to the stereo, with a stiff drink in his hand. His wife knew nothing of his nervous state, and she climbed onto his lap with the thought of trying to wheedle a fur coat out of him, and snuggled and murmured and fondled.

"Good heavens, Ethel," he exploded, "get off of me! I get enough of this at the office."

20     sex jokes


There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.

He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."

The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.

His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"

62     preacher jokes


Proposal

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?

" Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"
Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."

The teacher fainted ...

32     Short jokes






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