kills a deer
and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids
are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them.
His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?"
"You'll see", he replies.
They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating.
"Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes calls me."
His daughter screams ... "Don't eat it, Jimmy! ... It's a fucking asshole
was invited for dinner at a friend
's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife
by calling her "My Love
", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc.
His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names
The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law
and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter.' But instead I said: 'You silly cow
, you have completely ruined my life'."