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Difference jokes

95 jokes about differences



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Proposal

What's the difference between a leech and a lawyer?
Few leech jokes out there.
Leeches only want your blood.
A leech drops off you once you're dead.     ~ I hates Bill Gates

3     → Joke


Proposal

A young boy asks his dad: "What's the difference between theorectically and realistically?"

"Well son, go and ask your mother if she would sleep with the postman for $1million ..."

The little boy asks his mum and then goes back to his dad: "She said yes ..."

"Now go and ask your sister if she would sleep with the milkman for $2million ..."

The little boy asks his sister: "She said yes, but whats the difference between theoretically and realistically?"

"Well son, theorectically we are sitting on $3million ... realistically we are living with a couple of slags!"

7     → Joke


Proposal

What is the difference between girls / women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78?

At 8: You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18: You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28: You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38: She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48: She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58: You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68: If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!
At 78: What story? What bed? Who the hell are you?

3     → Joke


What's the difference between a dead skunk on the road and a dead lawyer on the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

11     → Joke


On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.

1) If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
2) If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
3) If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
4) If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
5) If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."

22     → Joke



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