A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable fidelity practices when suddenly, the woman reaches over and slices off the mans penis and angrily tosses it out the window of the car.2 Proposal
Driving behind the car is a pickup truck with a man and his 10 year old daughter chatting away beside him. All of the sudden, the penis smacks the pickup in the windshield and flies off.
Surprised, the daughter asks her daddy, "Daddy what in the heck was that?!?"
Not wanting to expose his 10 year old daughter to sex at such a tender age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey."
The daughter gets a confused look on her face, and after a minute, she says. "Sure had a big dick."
Dr. Phil was conducting a therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.2 Proposal
"You all have obsessions" he observed.
To the first mother he said: "You are so obsessed with eating you've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom: "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third mom: "Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers: "Come on Dick, we're leaving."
What did the dick say to the condom?2 Proposal
Cover me, I'm going in!
This guy was at work and was really horny, so he told some collegues at work he was going to screw his wife till the dick hurts So when he got home, he found her in bed, got in and screwed her in darkness.1 Proposal
Two hours later, he walks into the bathroom to find his wife in the bathtub who goes: "Shhhh your mom is in bed sleeping"!!
Why did the pervert cross the road?1
Because he got his dick stuck in the chicken!