Dick jokes

Why are women so bad at mathematics?

Because men keep telling them that this (make gap with thumb and forefinger) is 9 inches.

How do you get two piccolos to play in unison?

Shoot one.

A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says: "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow."

Then he grabs her pussy and says: "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens."

She turns to him smiles, grabs his dick and says: "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother!"

What did the dick say to the condom?

Cover me, I'm going in!

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Because he got his dick stuck in the chicken!