46 jokes about dicks
What's hard and straight going in, soft and sticky coming out?
Chewing gum.
8
chewing gum jokesA man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable fidelity practices when suddenly, the woman reaches over and slices off the mans
penis and angrily tosses it out the window of the car.
Driving behind the car is a pickup truck with a man and his 10 year old daughter chatting away beside him. All of the sudden, the penis smacks the pickup in the windshield and flies off.
Surprised, the daughter asks her
daddy, "Daddy what in the heck was that?!?"
Not wanting to expose his 10 year old daughter to sex at such a tender age, the father replies, "It was only a
bug, honey."
The daughter gets a confused look on her face, and after a minute, she says. "Sure had a big dick."
24
penis jokesWhy do
women have legs?
Have you seen the
mess a slug makes?
17
woman jokesA husband pinches his
wifes arse and says: "Do you know if you firm this up you could get rid of your girdle?"
The wife annoyed, decided to bite her tongue and say nothing.
Later that night in bed, the husband squeezed her
tits and said: "Do you know, if you firmed these up you could get rid of your bra?"
Absolutely fuming, the wife reached over and grabbed his dick and said: "Well do you know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the milk man and your fucking brother?"
38
sex jokesDick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The
President whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a
jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"
31
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