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A husband pinches his wifes
arse and says: "Do you know if you firm this up you could get rid of your girdle?"
The wife annoyed, decided to bite her tongue and say nothing.
Later that night in bed, the husband squeezed her tits
and said: "Do you know, if you firmed these up you could get rid of your bra?"
Absolutely fuming, the wife reached over and grabbed his dick and said: "Well do you know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the milk man and your fucking brother?"
is lying on the beach
, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick.
woman is passing and remarks: "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat
to a lady!"
He replied: "If you were any sort of a lady, the hat would lift itself!"
Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".
"I've been circumcised." the other replied.
"What does that mean?"
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
"How old were you when it was cut off?"
"My mom said I was two days old."
"Did it hurt?" the kid
"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"
How is a woman
like a condom
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank
Ring up and say you cannot cum
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