Dick jokes

What happened when the gay guy put a nicotine patch on his dick?

He went down to two butts a day.

I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

A man is having problems with his Johnson which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your dick is burned out; you only have 30 erections left in your penis."

The man walks home (deeply depressed); his wife is already expecting him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list!"

He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it."

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Because he got his dick stuck in the chicken!

What's hard and straight going in, soft and sticky coming out?

Chewing gum.