3 guys go camping
in their new tent.
After a night's sleep, the guy sleeping on the left of the tent wakes up in a cold sweat and tells the others "I had the most horrible nightmare that somebody was trying to pull my dick off!"
The guy sleeping on the right says "Weird! I had the exact same dream
The guy sleeping in the middle says "I had a dream that I was skiing ..."
One day, while relieving himself in the employee restroom, Carl could not help but notice the unusually long penis
on the black man in the adjoining urinal. "How do you guys do that?" asked Carl. "I mean, get such long dicks?" "Well," replied the black man, "when having sex
, just push it in slow and pull it out quick. That exercises it."
After hearing this, Carl promised himself that he would try out this new dick-stretching technique on his wife. That night, Carl made love to his wife and tried the new method. Shortly after they finished, Carl asked, "Well dear, did you notice anything different about me?"
"Yeah," said the wife. "You fuck
like a black man!"
What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
You don't have to beg your wife
to blow your paycheck!
morning a cop
on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid
on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa
bring that to you?"
The kid replies, "Yeah."
The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket
The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
Why do men fart
louder than women
Because they have a microphone and two speakers.