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Desk jokes

11 jokes about desks



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By three measures a manager is known:

1) The thickness of the carpet in his office.
2) The area of his desk.
3) The volume of his car's engine.

7     → Joke


Proposal

A guy walks into a store to buy a new computer. So he takes the computer home and sets it up on his desk.

Creating a master account the computer asks him for his password. He enters the word penis.

The computer responds: "Your password is not long enough!"

7     → Joke


A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day the departing manager tells him, "I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can't solve."

Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong - the usual stuff - and the manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says "Blame your predecessor!" He does this and gets off the hook.

About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize!" This he does, and the company quickly rebounds.

Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says "Prepare three envelopes".

22     → Joke


A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."

So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.

Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades ... and to the amazment of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.

His answer to the question: "What chair?"

24     → Joke


Proposal

Teacher: "If I had ten flies on my desk and I swatted one, how many would I have left?"

Little Johnny: "One, the others would have flown away!"

2     → Joke


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