A blind man
and his seeing eye dog
walked into a store
. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around.
Upset by this, the manager
of the store demanded to know what he was doing.
The blind man calmly replied, "I'm just lookin' around."
walks into a bar
and demands to know "Who's the strongest
The toughest guy looks at him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my car
to the gas station?"
It was a hot summer day, and the old courthouse was just as hot. The air was thick and humid, and the jury
was having a hard time staying focused. One of the jurors
succumbed to the heat, falling asleep just as the victim was being questioned by the prosecutor.
"The defendant is accused of making obscene phone calls to your home. Would you please tell the jury precisely what the defendant said when he called you," asked the prosecutor.
"I can't do that," the victim replied. "It was so crude and disgusting. I can't use language like that."
"Would it help to just write it down?"
The victim wrote out every detail of what the obscene caller had said, and passed the note
to the judge
. The judge read the note. It was then passed to the prosecutor, the defense attorney, and finally to the jury.
juror was seated at the back corner of the jury box, and was the last to receive the note. He was awoken with a nudge from an attractive young juror, seated next to him, and she passed him the note. He read it, gazed in awe at the woman, and read it again. He turned to her, smiling broadly, and winked. He then put the note into his pocket.
The judge demanded, "Please pass that note to the bailiff."
"But your honor," the juror protested, "It's a private matter."
are overly suspicious of their husbands
. When Adam
stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve
"You're running around with other women," she charged.
"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.
"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
"Counting your ribs
officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins
. He pulls the guy over and says: "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies: "I did ... today I'm taking them to the beach