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Death jokes

87 jokes about deaths



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What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

17     → Joke


Old software engineers never die. They just log out.

15     → Joke


Chemist's last words

1) And now the tasting test ...
2) And now shake it a bit ...
3) In which glass was my mineral water?
4) Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
5) And now the detonating gas problem.
6) This is a completely safe experimental setup.
7) Now you can take the protection window away ...
8) Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
9) And now a cigarette ...

15     → Joke


How do you save a drowning lawyer?

1. Take your foot off his head.
2. Shoot him before he hits the water.

14     → Joke


What does Princess Diana and a bottle of French wine have in common?

They both came from France in a wooden box.

14     → Joke


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