Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.30 Ghost Jokes
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death ... we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?14 Lawyer Jokes
About three pounds, including the urn.
Did you hear about the lawyer from Texas who was so big when he died that they couldn't find a coffin big enough to hold the body?17 Lawyer Jokes
They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.
Chemist's last words19 Chemist Jokes
1) And now the tasting test ...
2) And now shake it a bit ...
3) In which glass was my mineral water?
4) Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
5) And now the detonating gas problem.
6) This is a completely safe experimental setup.
7) Now you can take the protection window away ...
8) Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
9) And now a cigarette ...
How do you save a drowning lawyer?18 Lawyer JokesNext page JokesDeath Sayings
1. Take your foot off his head.
2. Shoot him before he hits the water.