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Death jokes

39 jokes about deaths


Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death ... we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

16     5


How do you save a drowning lawyer?

1. Take your foot off his head.
2. Shoot him before he hits the water.

12     0

gangster

chemist
Chemist's last words

1) And now the tasting test ...
2) And now shake it a bit ...
3) In which glass was my mineral water?
4) Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
5) And now the detonating gas problem.
6) This is a completely safe experimental setup.
7) Now you can take the protection window away ...
8) Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
9) And now a cigarette ...

11     5


What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

14     0


How is an apple like a lawyer?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

32     4

tree.spring



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