84 jokes about deaths
A bunch of guy's were working on a 50 story construction
site, a guy working at the top accidently knocked a brick
off the 50th story. When looking down he saw that his boss
was in line for the brick to land on his noggin and briskly yelled, "Falling Brick". The boss looked up after hearing the yell and moved to one side as the brick crashed to the ground.
The boss looked up at the worker and yelled, "A $100 bonus
for you lady."
Another guy working a floor below had observed what went down with the brick and decided he'd have a go for a $100 bonus, the problem was he was a bit of a stutterer, as he kicked the brick off the side of the building he looked down and yelled with a loud voice, fffffffffffffffff "FUCK HE'S DEAD"
When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father
died, he decided he needed a woman
to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty
took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening.
Three days later, she became his stepmother
Three guys go down to Mexico
one night, get drunk
and wake up in jail
. They find out that they're to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done.
The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God
to intervene on behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go.
The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. "I am an attorney and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.
Figuring the law is on this guy's side, they let him go. The last one is strapped in and say's "I'm an electrical engineer
, and I'll tell you right now, you'll never electrocute anybody if you don't connect those two wires." God rest his soul.
What's the difference between a viola
and a coffin
The coffin has the dead
person on the inside.