88 jokes about deaths
45 genie jokes
finds a genie
's lamp. The Genie comes out and says, "You may have three wishes
, but your husband
will get ten times more than what you wished for."
The woman agrees. Her first wish was that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. "You realize," the Genie said, "that your husband will be ten times more beautiful than you, and more women will gawk at him?"
"That's okay," says the woman, "He'll only look at me because I will be the most beautiful women." So the wish is granted.
Her second wish was that she would be the richest woman in the world. "You know your husband will be ten times richer, right?" the Genie asks.
"That's okay. What's mine is his and what's his is mine," replied the woman. So the wish was granted.
The woman then thinks long and hard about her last wish. She finally wishes that she had a mild heart attack.
30 sex jokes
There once was a man
who could not keep it going with his wife
. He went to the doctor who gave him some sex pills
. There was a label on the bottle that said ... **Take one pill for a great night** The man thought that he wanted a stupendous night; so he downed the whole bottle.
In the morning the neighbors came over to find the man's son sitting on the porch crying. "What's wrong?" they said.
"Mom's dead, Sister's pregnant, My backside hurts, and Dad's in the basement yelling: Here Kitty Kitty ..."
35 sex jokes
dies and the congregation decides, after some time, that his widow
, should marry again. Since it is a small village the only available candidate is the local butcher
. Although very reluctantly, since she was used to living with a bible scholar, she accepts.
After the marriage
, on Friday night just after taking a bath - the new husband
tells his wife
, "Look, my mother always said that before the beginning of the weekend it was a blessing to have sex
They do it and then on Saturday he tells her, "According to my father it is a blessing to have sex during the day before the Sabbath
There they go again and when it is time to go to sleep he tells her, "My grandfather told me that one should always have sex on Sabbath night."
Finally they go to sleep and when they wake up the next morning he tells her, "My aunt says that a Christian man always starts the Sabbath by having sex. So lets do it."
Finally on Monday she goes out to the market and meets a friend that asks her, "So how is the new husband?"
"Well, an intellectual he isn't, but he comes from a wonderful family
27 lawyer jokes26 lottery jokesNext page Jokesdeath sayings
You find yourself stuck in a hole
with a murderer
, a rapist
, and a lawyer
. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?Shoot
the lawyer. Twice.