88 jokes about deaths
Whats the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?40 president jokes
One got his head blown off in the back of a limosene, the other got assasinated.
31 smoking jokes
, a Chain Smoker and a Homosexual
go to the doctor.
The doctor says: "If any of you indulge one more time you'll die."
As they walk home they pass a bar. The Alcoholic has a shot of whiskey, falls off his stool stone cold dead. His friends are shocked.
As they walk along they come upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground still burning. The Homosexual looks at the Chain Smoker and says: "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead!"
9 perfect jokesProposal
Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect
' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I abuse
my kids and beat up my wife. Makes me kind of immortal
A little girl finds her dog dead with his legs in the air and she asks her dad why it's like that.9 Short jokes
Dad says: "It has died and it's like that so jesus can pick it up and take it to heaven."
The next day girl says to dad: "Mom nearly died today. She was on her back with her legs in the air shouting: 'Oh Jesus, I'm coming, I'm coming and if the milkman hadn't been holding her down we would have lost her for sure!"
31 doctor jokesNext page Jokesdeath sayings
A man went to the doctor
The doctor examined him and said: "I'm sorry to have to tell you this - but you only have three minutes left to live."
The man said: "Oh my god! Are you sure there is nothing you can do for me?"
The doctor thought for a moment then replied: "I could boil you an egg