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Doctor: "I have some bad news and some very bad news."

Patient: "Well, might as well give me the bad news first."

Doctor: "The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live."

Patient: "24 Hours! Thats terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?"

Doctor: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

45     Doctor Jokes


A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

33     Death Jokes


What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?

They both live off dead Beatles.

10     Ethiopian Jokes


What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a crushed viola in the road?

There are skid marks before of the skunk.

1     Skunk Jokes


Teacher: "What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?"

Pupil: "Dead? I didn't even know it was sick!"

1     Pupil Jokes






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