Dam Jokes
Top 20 Jokes about Dams



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Mom took Little Johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis.

Doctor: "How did such a thing happen?"

Johnny: "It's that damn neighbor girl, Susie. Her braces are too darned sharp."

42     Brace Jokes


A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made ..."

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"

The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his!"

41     Mother Jokes


The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon Little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.

"It's a period" reported Johnny.

"Well I can see that" she said. "but what is so exciting about a period."

"Damned if I know" said Johnny, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."

35     Little Johnny Jokes


A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During world war II, I hid a refugee in my attic."

"Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."'

"But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed."

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."

"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question."

"What is that, my son?"

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

36     Priest Jokes


Little Susie was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Susie, who created the universe?'' When Little Susie didn't stir, Little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty!'' shouted Susie and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Susie fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Susie, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Susie didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Susie and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Susie fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Susie a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Susie jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''

31     Little Susie Jokes






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