A man walked into a bar
after just being dumped. The person serving at the time was a woman. She kept on giving him free drinks the whole night. When the bar had closed she went up to him and asked if he wanted to go upstairs for a quicky. He of course said yes and they went upstairs.
When they got there the women asked if he had any protection. He didn't have any and answered no. So she told him there was a chemist across the road and gave him $ 1.
When he got to the chemist there were a selection of condoms
to choose from:
There was a tramp one for 50 p.
There was an apple
flavoured one for $ 1.
And there was a metal one for $ 1.50.
As he only had one pound the man bought the apple flavoured one.
During the the night of fun the condom slipped and the lady got pregnant
. The couple married and raised a son.
When he was 5 years old, he went up to his dad and cried: "Daddy why do I have green arms? This is not fair."
To this the dad replied: "I would count yourself lucky my son. If I would have had an extra 50 p you would have been Robo-Cop"
Bobby walked Susie home from their date during a hot summer night. As they kissed goodbye, Bobby leaned against the front door and said, "Why don't we screw, right here and now?" Susie said, "No way, I'm not going to do that." Bobby kept pestering her, "Oh come on, just a little..." Susie kept refusing his requests. Bobby said, "Oh come on just some nookie..." The front door opened and Susie's little sister came downstairs rubbing her eyes. She said, "Daddy said to say that Bobby can screw you, or me or Daddy, but get your hand off the intercom button!" ~ gnome de plume