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Dad Jokes
Top 50 Jokes about Dads



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Father and son in supermarket.

"Dad, what are these?"

"That's a 3pack of condoms son for secondary school lads. 1 for Friday night, 1 for Saturday night and 1 for Sunday night."

"What about the 6pack dad?"

"Those are for University lads. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Satuday night and 2 for Sunday night."

"Well dad, what about the 12pack then?"

"Married men son. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March ..."

41     Sex Jokes


"Daddy," a little boy asked his father. "How much does it cost to get married?"

"I don't know, son. I'm still paying for it."

41     Marriage Jokes


A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made ..."

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"

The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his!"

41     Mother Jokes


Little Johnny wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he surprised the teacher with an announcement. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!"

38     Spanking Jokes


A little boy and girl are in a bathtub, and are naked because they are too little too understand anything like that. The girl and boy ask each other: "What's that?" and they both reply: "I'll ask my parents."

So the boy goes home and asks his dad what it is. The dad looks solemnly at him and says: "Son, that's your car. You park it in a girls garage."

The girl goes home and says: "what's that?" The mother says: "That's your garage. dont let any boy park his car in it."

The next day they are again in the tub. The boy says its a car and remembers what his dad said. So he begins to put it in the girls "garage". But then the girl remembers what her mom said.

5 minutes later, the girl comes to the mom with blood all over her. The mother asks her what was wrong and she said: "Mommy, a boy tried to put his car in my garage, but I popped his two back tires."

37     Sex Jokes






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