Dad Jokes
Top 50 Jokes about Dads



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A priest, Jesus, and an old man tee off.

The priest drives the green within 5 yards of the hole.

Jesus slices the ball and it goes into the water hazard. He quickly runs across the water and hits his second onto the green 2 inches from the hole.

The old man tees off with a short worm burner that trickles into the hazard. Soon after a fish eats the ball and swims across the pond with it in its mouth. Just then an eagle swoops down and snatches the fish with the golf ball and flies off. The eagle loses its grip and drops the fish on the green. The fish then spits out the ball and it rolls into the hole for a hole in one.

Jesus turns to the old man and replies, "Play fair dad!"

21     Golf Jokes


A little girl and her mother were walking through the park. One day they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl asked: "Mummy, what are they doing?"

The mother hesitates then quickly replies: "Ummm they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?"

Shocked, the mother asks: "How do you know?"

She says: "Because I licked the icing off the sofa!"

8     Cake Jokes


A woman goes to the hospital, and her doctor gives her a sonogram.

He sees the baby and suddenly the baby says: "Are you my daddy?"

The doctor is shocked and goes to get another doctor, who looks at the sonogram.

The baby says again: "Are you my daddy?"

The doctor says: "No, I'm not your father."

They go to get the dad, the father looks at his baby boy and the baby asked: "Are you my daddy?"

And the father says: "Yes, I am!"

So, the baby pops out of the mother's womb, picks up his hand, and starts poking the father in the head while saying: "How do you like that?! How do you like that?!"

15     Baby Jokes


Proposal

A young boy asks his dad: "What's the difference between theorectically and realistically?"

"Well son, go and ask your mother if she would sleep with the postman for $1million ..."

The little boy asks his mum and then goes back to his dad: "She said yes ..."

"Now go and ask your sister if she would sleep with the milkman for $2million ..."

The little boy asks his sister: "She said yes, but whats the difference between theoretically and realistically?"

"Well son, theorectically we are sitting on $3million ... realistically we are living with a couple of slags!"

9     Short jokes


"Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running away?"

"Shut up, and help me reload the shotgun!"

7     Mommy Mommy Jokes






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