76 jokes about dads
A young lawyer
who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.
"Dad, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."
"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot
! We've been living off of that money
for over five years now!"
One day an Indian
boy asked his father why they have such long names
The dad answers, "Well, son, it's tradition when an Indian baby
is born for the father to go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees ... Why do you ask Two Dogs
Son: "Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?"4
Dad: "Hmm. You are my son, Iam confident of that. Your friend Timmy is also my son, that's confidential!"
"Dad, whats the difference between a pussy
and a cunt
?" a young son asks.
"Look at this," says dad, as he lifts the sheets on his naked sleeping mother, "thats a pussy son."
"It's wonderful dad, can I touch it?"
"No son" says Dad. "If you touch the pussy you'll wake the cunt up!"
One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he is her half brother.1
The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off.
She goes to her mom and says: "Mom what have you been doing all your life time? Dad has been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!"
Her mom replies: "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn't really your dad!"