52 jokes about crosses
13 sex jokes
comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife
, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband
. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?"
The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love
and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy
3 mouse jokes
in a pub having a heavy discussing who's the hardest.
The first mouse says: "I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps
rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down I benchpress it 30 times and throw it across the room!"
The second mouse says: "You poof I get rat poison crush it into a powder and snort it!"
The third mouse finishes his drink gets up and walks to the door.
"Where are you going?" ask the other two mice.
"Home to fuck the cat
5 tooth jokes
An older couple
was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.
She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite
"Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed."
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"To get my teeth
11 lawyer jokes
cross-examined the adversary
's main witness
. "You claim to have stopped by Mrs. Edwards' house just after breakfast. Will you tell the jury what she said?"
, your honor," shouted the other lawyer.
There then followed a long argument between the lawyers as to whether the question
was proper. Finally, after 45 minutes, the judge
"So," the first lawyer continued, "Please answer the question: What did Mrs. Edwards say when you went to her house after breakfast on December 3rd?"
"Nothing," said the witness. "No one was home."
5 turtle jokesNext page Jokes
Why did the turtle
cross the road?
To get to the Shell