# Cost jokes

A man went in for a brain transplant operation and was offered a choice of two brains by the surgeon. He could choose either the Architect's brain which would cost him \$10,000 or the Politician's which was \$100,000.

"Does that mean that the politician's brain is much better than the Architect's?" exclaimed the clearly puzzled man.

"not exactly" replied the surgeon, "the politician's has never been used."

24     politician jokes

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk.

"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.

7     kiss jokes

A fellow was about to enter a bar when a dog tugged at his trouser leg and said to him, "Hey, pal! Wanna make some quick money?"

The man couldn't believe his ears. He said to the dog, "Can you talk?"

"Yeah," the dog answered, "and that's how we can pick up some easy money. You take me into the bar with you, pretend I'm your dog, and bet everybody I can talk."

The fellow thought that was a great idea, so he took the dog into the bar, set it on the bar, and announced to everyone that the dog could talk. The other patrons didn't believe him, and it wasn't long before several thousand dollars had been bet. Finally, after all the bets had been placed, the guy said to the dog, "All right, go ahead and say something."

Nothing.

He told the dog again, "Hey! All the bets are placed! Say something, for God's sake!"

The dog just looked at him and whined.

He, asked again and again, but the dog wouldn't say a word. Finally, the fellow had to pay all the bets, scooped up the dog in disgust and walked out. Once outside, he screamed at the dog, "You just cost me way over a thousand dollars! You got anything to say before I seriously boot your mangy arse?"

"Take it easy, pal! You ain't thinkin'," the dog answered. "Tomorrow night, we'll be able to get odds of fives or better."

11     dog jokes

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars". "Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man. The shop owner says, "well, the parrot knows how to use a computer".

The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"

15     parrot jokes

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