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Absolute zero is really cool.

12     zero jokes


Yo momma is so dumb she threw a stone at the ground and missed.

15     yo momma jokes


How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

1) None. real computer geeks prefer LEDs.
2) None. It's a hardware problem!
3) Just one. But the house falls down.
4) Two. One resigns halfway through the project.
5) 10. One to change the bulb and one to explain binary.
6) Is this a dynamically allocated light bulb?

7     light bulb jokes


At Sydney University, there were four students taking Organic Chemistry. They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident with the finals approaching that the weekend before, they decided to go down to Canberra and party with some friends there.

They had a great time. However, after all the hard partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Sydney until early Monday morning - the morning of their final exam! Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the exam and explain to him why they missed it.

They explained that they had gone to Canberra to do some research in the ANU (Australian National University) archives for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they only just arrived now!

The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up their final exam the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied hard that night - all night - and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them.

He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, (which was out of 100 points) and told them to begin. The first problem was worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation. Cool, they all thought in their separate rooms, "this is going to be easy."

Each finished the problem and then turned the page. Question 2 (for 95 points): Which tire?

27     tire jokes


Proposal

A tramp walks in a bar. ‘Get out’ says the barman. ‘If I can show you a cool trick can I stay and have a pint’ ‘Okay’ says the barman.
The Tramp pulls a hamster out of his pocket and a small piano. He puts them on the bar and the hamster starts playing the piano.
‘Wow! that’s amazing here’s a pint anymore tricks’ says the barman.
The Tramp pulls a frog out of his pocket puts it on the bar and it starts to sing.
A man seeing this offers the tramp £300 for the frog. ‘Ok’ says the tramp. He takes the frog and goes. ‘What u do that for a singing frog is worth far more than that. ‘Not really’ says the tramp
‘Why not?’ says the barman
The tramp replies ‘The hamster is a ventriloquist’     ~ The Tramp

5     Short jokes






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