Clean - 25 jokes
14 → Joke
A guy walks into the doctor
's office. There is a banana
stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber
in the other ear, and a carrot
stuck in one nostril.
says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat
62 → Joke
A guy walks into a bar
Guy: "Hey, barkeeper
, give me a beer
Barkeeper: "Tell you what, if you can make that horse
out there laugh, I will give you a free beer and $500."
So the guy walks outside and whispers to the horse. The horse laughs. The guy walks back in.
Guy: "Where's my $500 and free beer?"
Barkeeper: "Alright, double or nothing says you can't make that horse cry."
The guy walks outside again. The barkeep chuckles to himself as he's cleaning a glass and misses what the guy does, but he hears the horse crying. The guy comes back in.
Guy: "Alright, where's my $1000 and two free beers?"
Barkeeper: "What did you say to make the horse laugh?"
Guy : "I told him I have a bigger penis
Barkeeper: "What did you do to make him cry?"
Guy: "I showed him."
54 → Joke
kills a deer
and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner
. He knows his kids
are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them.
His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?"
"You'll see", he replies.
They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating.
"Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes calls me."
His daughter screams ... "Don't eat it, Jimmy! ... It's a fucking asshole
51 → Joke
You wanna hear a dirty
A boy in a white shirt fell in the mud
You wanna hear a dirtier joke?
He got back up and fell back down.
You wanna hear a clean joke?
He took a bath
You wanna hear the dirtest joke so far?
Bubbles is the girl
47 → JokeNext page Back to home
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls
were beginning to use lipstick
and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers, and then there are educators ...