50 jokes about ciaProposal
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. 1 Short jokes
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the dash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9… ~ Mental Health Hotline
16 mathematician jokes
and a physicist
were asked the following question: Suppose you walked by a burning house and saw a hydrant
and a hose
not connected to the hydrant. What would you do?
P: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water
, and put out the fire
M: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water, and put out the fire.
Then they were asked this question: Suppose you walked by a house and saw a hose connected to a hydrant. What would you do?
P: I would keep walking, as there is no problem to solve.
M: I would disconnect the hose from the hydrant and set the house on fire, reducing the problem to a previously solved form.
7 light bulb jokes
How many socialists
does it take to change a light bulb?
One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously order an American
Bill10 restaurant jokes
and Hillary are at a restaurant
. The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken
almondine and fresh fish.
"The chicken sounds good, I'll have that," Hillary says.
The waiter nods: "And the vegetable
?" he asks.
"Oh, HE'll have the fish." Hillary replies.
4 politician jokesNext page Jokes
Two political candidates
were having a hot debate.
Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other: "What about the powerful interest that controls you?"
And the other guy screamed back: "You leave my wife
out of this!"