Our local drug store is selling tampons with bells on.17 Tampon Jokes
But just for the Christmas period.
Daughter: "Mom, can I have a canary for Christmas?"3 Canary Jokes
Mom: "No! You'll have turkey like everyone else!"
"Mommy, Mommy! Can I have a bike for Christmas?"2 Mommy Mommy Jokes
"Nope. You already have your wheelchair."
A little girl goes to see Santa Claus at the local shopping mall. When she arrives and sits down on Santa's lap Santa asks "What do you want for Christmas little girl?".22 Santa Claus Jokes
"I want a Barbie and a GI Joe" says the little girl.
"But Barbie comes with Ken" Santa says,
"No, Barbie only 'cums' with GI Joe!"
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"34 Boob JokesNext page JokesChristmas Sayings
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions."
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter asked, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."