Chiropractor jokes

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.

Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

Why do blondes hate M&Ms?

They're too hard to peel.

What not to say to the nice policeman:

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?

You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

This is Linux land. In silent nights you can hear the Windows machines rebooting.