A little girl goes to see Santa
Claus at the local shopping mall. When she arrives and sits down on Santa's lap Santa asks "What do you want for Christmas little girl?".
"I want a Barbie
and a GI Joe" says the little girl.
"But Barbie comes with Ken" Santa says,
"No, Barbie only 'cums
' with GI Joe!"
On little Larry
's first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher
came into the room and said, "I don't belong here, I should be in third grade!"
The teacher looked at little Larry's records and told him to please take his seat.
Not five minutes passed when little Larry stood up again and said, "I don't belong here, I should be in the third grade!"
Larry did this a few more times before the principal
came along and the teacher explained Larry's problem. The principal and the first grade teacher told little Larry that if he could answer some questions that they could decide in which grade he belonged. Well, they soon discovered that Larry knew all the state capitals and country capitals that the principal could think of.
The teacher suggested they try some biology questions ... "What does a cow have 4 of but a woman
has only 2?" asked the teacher.
!" Larry immediately replied. "What does a man have in his pants that a woman doesn't?" asked the teacher.
!" said Larry.
The teacher looked at the principal, who said, "Maybe he should be in third grade, I missed those last two questions!"
: "What kind of person is your new boyfriend
? Is he respectable?"
"Of course he is, Mom. He's thrifty, doesn't drink or smoke, has a very nice wife and three well-behaved children."
A young blind
boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy
really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish
will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep.
The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"