A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."10 Prescription Jokes
The pharmacist asked: "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied: "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law? I'll lose my licence! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied: "You didn't tell me you had a prescription!"
Jenny's friend Debbie was at work complaining about a sore throat and laryngitis.3 Blow Jobs Jokes
"When I have that I always give a blow job to my husband and the next day I'm better, you should try it."
Next day Debbie comes in singing.
"How did it go?" enquires Jenny.
"Brilliant" says Debbie, "your husband couldn't believe it was your idea!"
US Airways recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips.2 Businessman Jokes
Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"
A proof that men have better friends:10 Short jokes
A woman didn't come home one night. Next morning she told her husband she had slept over at a friends house. Husband calls her 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Man didn't come home one night. Next morning he says he slept over at a friends house. Wife calls his 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he slept over and two said he was still there.
What's worse than finding a caterpillar in your salad?4 Caterpillar Jokes
Finding half a caterpillar!