Cheating - 71 jokes
19 → Joke
The angry wife
met her husband
at the door. There was alcohol
on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is." he replied, "Breakfast
23 → Joke
sent his wife and child to a sea resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love with his wife.
"No darling, we can't do it here, what if the kid wakes up?"
"You are right, lets go to the beach
They went to the empty beach and start to make love. All of a sudden, a policeman run into them.
"Put your cloths on immediately, shame on you, you can't do that in public."
"You are right", said the husband, "but it was a moment of weakness. We didn't see each other for a week. By the way, I am a policeman too and it would be very embarrassing if you fine me."
"Don't worry, you are a colleague and it is your first time. But this is the third time I caught this bitch making love on this beach in the last week and she will have to pay for it."
32 → Joke
is having problems with his Johnson which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor
who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your dick
is burned out; you only have 30 erections
left in your penis
The man walks home (deeply depressed); his wife is already expecting him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list
He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it."
46 → Joke30 → Joke
was having problems with premature ejaculation
so he decided to go to the doctor
. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem ...
In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling yourself". That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol
. All excited to try this suggestion out he runs home to his wife.
At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband. As the two begin, they find themselves in the '69' position. The man, moments later, feels the sudden urge to come and fires the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?". The man answered, "Not that well ... when I fired the pistol my wife shit
on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"