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Change jokes

57 jokes about changes


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money
When I was in London a few months ago, I was approached by a prostitute as I left a club on one of the back streets of Soho. Mainly interested in checking the rate of exchange I assure you, I asked: "How much?"

"It'll cost ya twenty quid" replied the tart.

"American Express?" I inquired.

She gave me an appraising look and said: "You can go as fast as you like" .

18    


Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week?

Because the text on the diapers package said '18-40 lbs'.

37    

businessman:2

How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1) None. Feminists can't change anything.
2) Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to berate any men who offer to help.

10    

light bulb

cow
A Televangelist a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said: "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."

"No problem," chimed the Rabbi, "My people wandered in the desert for forty years, I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening." With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night. Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door, there stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer. The Rabbi replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that this is an unclean animal."

His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door, "What's wrong, now?" the farmer asks. The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep on holy ground!"

Well, that leaves only the Televangelist to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Yep, you guessed it! Moments later there was another knock on the farmers door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.

16    


Proposal

The Story of an Italian Tourist in America:
So one-a daya I go to America. When I land I’ma very hungry, so I go to a resteranta and order a piece a toast. However, ma waitress, she is very stupid. She bringa me a plate with nothing on it. I says to her,

“I want a piece a toast on da plate.” She’s like,

“Wha?” So I says to her, “

I wanta piece on da plate!” and she tell me

“ You better not piss on da plate you sonsawabich! I angry with her, so I leave. I go to another resteranta hoping my luck will change. When I ama seated, there is no fork on da table. So I says to my waitress,

“ I want a fork-a on da table!” and she says to me,

“You better not fuck me on the table, you sonsawabich!” Again, I leave. I finally get to my hotel, but I notice that my bedsa don’t have any sheets. So I call the manager, and I tell him

“I wanna sheet on the bed!” and he tells me, “You better not shit on da bed you sonsawabich!”

4    


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