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10 jokes about catholics



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Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him Father."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a bishop. When he walks into a room people call him Your Grace."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says Your Eminence."

The fourth Catholic man chirps, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him Your Holiness."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well ...?"

She replies, "I have a gorgeous daughter. When she walks into a room, people say, ... Oh God!"

21     God jokes


A woman walks into the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

"What denomination?" asks the clerk.

"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic and one Methodist."

10     religion jokes


President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope gets sent to hell. The Pope explained the situation to the devil, he checked out all of the paperwork, and the error was acknowledged. The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem and correct the error. The next day, the Pope was called in and the devil said his good-bye as he went off to heaven. On his way up, he met Clinton who was on his way down, and they stopped to chat.

Pope: "Sorry about the mix up."

President Clinton: "No problem."

Pope: "Well, I'm really excited about going to heaven."

President Clinton: "Why's that? It's not that great."

Pope: "All my life I've wanted to meet the Virgin Mary."

President Clinton: "Sorry, Your Holiness, You're a day late."

37     pope jokes


Proposal

Why are Catholic priests and acne different?

Acne doesn't cum on your face until your 14.     ~ Mark

21     Short jokes


The Pope arrives in heaven, where St. Peter awaites him. St. Peter asks who he is.

The Pope: "I am the pope."

St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."

The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth."

St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me ..."

The Pope: "But I am the leader of the Catholic Church ..."

St. Peter: "The Catholic church ... Never heard of it ... Wait, I'll check with the boss."

St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God.

St. Peter: "There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth."

God: "I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of ... Wait, I'll ask Jesus." (yells for Jesus)

Jesus: "Yes father, what's up?"

God and St. Peter explain the situation.

Jesus: "Wait, I'll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow."

Ten minutes pass and Jesus reenters the room laughing out loud. After a few minutes St. Peter asks Jesus why he's laughing.

Jesus: "Remember that fishing club I've started 2000 years ago? It still exists!"

42     Jesus jokes






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