36 jokes about care
33 asshole jokes
enrolled in nursing school
is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole
does when she has an orgasm
"Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids
15 stress jokes
A woman accompanied her husband
to the doctor
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife
into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress
disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him."
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
25 lottery jokes
A man bursts into his house and yells, "Pack your bags, Honey, I just won the lottery
She says, "Oh, wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"
He replies, "I don't care ... Just get the hell out!"
27 sex jokesProposal
dies and goes to heaven
. As St. Peter is processing her, she hears a woman screaming in pain. She looks in the room and sees them drilling holes
in the woman's shoulders to fasten the wings. Then she hears a man screaming and sees them drilling holes in his head to fasten the halo.
"I do not want to go to heaven", she tells St. Peter. "I'll go to the other place."
"You don't want to go there", he replies. "They rape
and sodomize you down there."
"I don't care", she answers. "At least I already have holes for that."
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.6 Short jokesNext page Jokescare sayings
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said: "I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive."
"How much?" asked Grandpa.
"$10.00 a pill," Answered the son.
"I don't care:" said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said: "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00."
"I know," said Grandpa "The hundred is from Grandma!"