from Montana and a cowboy from California are on a sheep
drive. They have been out for weeks and have been pulling sheep out of the mud and working really hard. Eventually they come across a sheep with her head stuck in the fence.
They are both very lonely, so the cowboy from Montana says "I'm first!" and he drops his pants and mounts the sheep. When he is finished, he steps back, looks at the California cowboy, and says "You're next".
The California cowboy drops his pants and sticks his head in the fence.
An attractive lady from Seattle was driving through a remote part of Texas
when her car broke down. A local on horseback came along and offered her a ride to the nearest town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse
and they rode off. The ride was pretty uneventful except that every few minutes the guy would let out a "Whoop" so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final "Yahoo" and rode off.
"Hey, what did you do to get him so fired up?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing," shrugged the woman
, I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.
"Lady," the attendant said, "that guy was riding bareback ..."
Do you ever notice that when you're driving
, anyone going slower than you is an idiot
and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac
What not to say to the nice policeman
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack
, my gun
fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.