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Car jokes

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Proposal

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

0     → Joke


A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked: "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

8     → Joke


A lady in labour is shouting the usual stuff: "Get this out of me!", "Give me the drugs!",... She turns to her boyfriend and says: "You did this to me you bastard!"

He replies casually: "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said 'Fuck Off! It'll be too painful!' Not laughing now are we!?"

21     → Joke


How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank?

Ring up and say you cannot cum.

40     → Joke


What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind as it hits the windshield?

His ass.

39     → Joke


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