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Car jokes

173 jokes about cars


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Proposal

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

0    


woman,kick bag
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked: "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

5    


A lady in labour is shouting the usual stuff: "Get this out of me!", "Give me the drugs!",... She turns to her boyfriend and says: "You did this to me you bastard!"

He replies casually: "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said 'Fuck Off! It'll be too painful!' Not laughing now are we!?"

17    


Whats the difference between married men and parking spaces?

Nothing all the good ones are taken.

7    

man,toilet

How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank?

Ring up and say you cannot cum.

24    

cashier

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